NaPoWriMo? [now i'm only 6 poems behind]

I used to go looking for love.

Everywhere.

I found it once, in a space between two teeth,

in a boy who should have been a man.

love left,

it couldn’t linger in a city so depressed.

I left with it.

I haven’t thought about love since.

sometimes I think I feel it,

on sunny days,

when I am driving,

and I feel the sun on my forearm.

Sometimes I smell its memory,

when I recall jasmine scented summers;

night skies pregnant with the potential for romance–

or at least my mind was.

I think I tasted love,

recently,

In a car,

In Mississippi,

it tasted like a man should smell,

sweet, strong, perfect.

Maybe I will never taste another love as sweet.

Or maybe that isn’t how love tastes at all

I used to write love so many letters

now they lie scattered across my room,

lining the bottoms of drawers.

The ink has faded,

I can no longer read what I wanted to say to love,

but it doesn’t matter

love has never written back.

I long to hear love’s voice but I never have,

I used to sing love songs

but I only ever heard the tease of my own voice echoing back in the dark

I wonder

if I follow these footsteps love left on my heart,

where I will find it,

in a gap between teeth,

in the seat of a car,

or somewhere equally unlikely.

I know I will never look for love again,

or at least I don’t believe I will…

Love has left me hangin

too many times,

and I’m too old

to be playin hide and go seek,

and I won’t be thinking about love

anymore

Cuz love

damn sure ain’t

thinkin about me.